The Donnie Report July 07, 2016

Donnie Sommers is the investigative monkey here at the TK Radio Network. You can find him on Facebook as ‘Donnie Sommers’. Donnie reports on some of the most stupid news stories that can be found in the internet today.

Disclaimer: We’ve been over this many times- you should know by now that Donnie is a Monkey. That’s all we need to say! Now, On to the Stupidity!

Man injured after bullets thrown into Canada Day bonfire

RCMP say alcohol was involved in the incident

CBC News Posted: Jul 06, 2016 10:49 AM CT Last Updated: Jul 06, 2016 12:33 PM CT

A man was taken to hospital after he was hit in the eye by bullet fragments at a southern Manitoba bonfire over the Canada Day long weekend.

The incident happened at a campground south of Austin, Man., at about 4 a.m. on July 2, RCMP said.

Mounties said five people were at a campfire when a 21-year-old man from North Norfolk, Man., started throwing .22- calibre shells into the fire.

One of the bullets exploded and some fragments struck a 23-year-old Swan Lake, Man., man in the eye, RCMP said.

He was taken to hospital and released later that day. Police were not sure how serious the man’s injury was.

A suspect was arrested but no charges have been laid yet.

Alcohol was involved in the incident, RCMP said.

Austin, Man., is about 130 km west of Winnipeg.

Texas teen loses leg, may lose eyesight from homemade ‘sparkler bomb’ firecracker 

NY Daily News



Updated: Tuesday, July 5, 2016, 12:18 PM

A 15-year-old Texas boy suffered horrific injuries when a homemade “sparkler bomb” made of 180 sparklers exploded on him Saturday, his family said.

Metal shards from the device made of the popular children’s toys wrapped in electrical tape injured Rowdy Radford and his best friend when they tried to light their massive sparkler bomb behind the Sargent home of Rowdy’s aunt, his family members told KHOU-TV.

The friend was not seriously injured, yet doctors at Children’s Memorial Hermann Hospital in nearby Houston have removed Rowdy’s left leg below the knee and estimated he has a 50% chance of losing his eyesight. He was in the hospital’s intensive care unit Monday.

Rowdy Radford, 15, was in intensive care after the firecracker accident Saturday in Sargent, Tex., roughly 75 miles southeast of Houston.

“It’s really hard to see your baby go through all this. I just want the parents to know don’t let your kids play with fireworks. It’s not worth it. It really ain’t,” his mother Wendy Smith told the TV station through tears. “It hurts because I want to see my kid talk to me and he’s not because he can’t. It’s really rough.”

July 4 fireworks cause injuries around America

YouTube has many videos displaying how sparkler bombs are capable of destroying trees, washing machines and even cars. And Rowdy enjoys scaring his family members each year around July 4 with firecrackers he likes calling his “booms,” his aunt Samantha Hansen said.

Rowdy’s mother Wendy Smith broke into tears talking about her son’s injuries in an interview with KHOU-TV.

Rowdy’s bomb included many more sparklers than he normally uses, and the device exploded right when he bent down to try to light the wick he made, she told KHOU.

“If you knew Rowdy and how wonderful a child he was, you wouldn’t want nobody to go through this,” Hansen said. “Protect your children. Anything can happen.”

YouTube has many videos showing how to make and explode so-called “sparkler bombs” such as this one called, “How To Make A Big Sparkler Bomb.”

The explosion blew off several of his fingers, severely burned his hands and face and also injured his right leg, according to a GoFundMe page started by his family. The doctors who performed an operation on his eyes “are not sure if he will ever see again,” the fundraising page said.

Woman injured in Fourth of July fireworks accident in Brooklyn

It showed a photo of him breathing through a respirator with his eyes covered and burn marks all over his face and upper body. The page had raised over $1,725 on Monday night.

“This wonderful young man is best friends with both of my children,” the page said. “He is going to be a freshman this year and wanted to be a mechanic when he grew up. Please help this wonderful family with everything they are going through and will continue to go through for the rest of their lives. No parents should have to be sitting in the hospital going through this.”

Innocent Man Must Notify the Police 24 Hours Before He Has Sex

40-year-old man was acquitted of rape, but UK officials don’t care.

Lenore Skenazy|Jul. 6, 2016 2:10 pm

Piksel / DreamstimeA British man found not guilty of rape must nonetheless give the authorities 24 hour notice before he engages in sex.

A guy must let the cops know when, where, and with whom he is going to engage in intimate relations. This notification rule goes into effect in August and The Mirror reports that the police are going to ask that it become permanent.

Now the man, who is single, is threatening to go on a hunger strike.

According to

The 40-year-old man, who legally cannot be named, was given a retrial in 2015 and acquitted of rape. Despite the ruling, police issued a “sexual risk order” against him. Under the order, the man must “disclose the details of any female including her name, address and date of birth… at least 24 hours prior to any sexual activity taking place.”

“I protest that even though a jury found me unanimously not guilty, after nearly two years I still find myself being punished for a crime that never happened,” the York man wrote in a statement to the press. “I protest to being subject to an order that is unlawful in almost every syllable, is unjustified and is so extreme as to be utterly unlivable.”

The Telegraph reports that this isn’t just a rule for folks found guilty of a sex crime:

Full sexual risk orders last for a minimum of two years and breaching an order can lead to a prison sentence of up to five years.

They are used when someone has not been convicted of a sexual offence, but the police convince a court it is necessary for one to be made against the person to protect the public from him or her.

As insane as that law sounds, I’d add that even if he was found guilty of rape and had served his time, this rule would be utterly untenable. Somehow we allow bank robbers to go to the bank after they are out of prison, and murderers, once freed, are allowed to buy meat cleavers. Former arsonists are not required to notify the cops 24 hours before they fry an egg.

Yet we treat sex offenders—and apparently even those found not guilty of sex offenses, but tainted by the mere accusation—as if they are insatiable recidivists, bent on violating every living being they approach. This is why we forbid people on the sex offender registry from living near parks and schools, even though these residency restrictions have been found to have “no demonstrable effect” effect on child safety.

What’s more the idea that sex offenders re-offend more than other criminals is completely wrong. A study by theDepartment of Justice found a 5.3 percent recidivism rate among sex offenders—lower than any other group except murderers.

The Mirror reports that the man in this story “admitted to previously having an interest in sado-masochistic sex and used to visit a Fifty Shades Of Grey-style fetish club with an ex-partner.”

So what? The hysteria around sex is so great that the man has had virtually all his freedom taken away under the guise of keeping the public safe:

He said there was “no prospect” of a relationship at the moment.

He said: “Can you imagine, 24 hours before sex? Come on.”

The man has been charged with breaching the terms of the order by refusing to give police the PIN to his phone.

He decided, having taken legal advice, not to give them the code as a point of principle, because he said the terms of an SRO were supposed to be prohibitive, not obligatory.

He was arrested and held in police custody overnight.

The terms of his SRO mean he cannot use any internet-enabled device that cannot be later checked by police.

He said that banned him from using certain fridges and lifts that are connected to the web.

The wording of the order also stops him from using an intercom such as those used to get into a nursery or a flat.

He said: “I’m in a state of shock, I cannot believe this is how the justice system works. “I thought the police were interested in finding out the truth, the only thing the police are interested in is securing convictions.”

Beyond that, I’d wager the police and authorities want to score a sexual victory: They can tell the public they have kept a predator at bay… even if the predator was an ordinary guy, not preying on anyone.

Officials: Dispute between CHP officer, firefighter an ‘isolated incident’

Posted: Feb 04, 2014 10:50 PM PSTUpdated: Feb 06, 2014 7:41 PM PST

CHULA VISTA (CBS 8) – Officials from both the California Highway Patrol and Chula Vista Fire Department Wednesday responded to an incident that left a firefighter in handcuffs at an accident site in the South Bay.

CBS News 8 cameras were rolling around 9:00 p.m. Tuesday when the two got into a dispute over where the fire engine should park while firefighters were responding to the crash that happened north on I-805 between Telegraph Canyon Road and East Orange Avenue.

According to officials, the officer told firefighters to move three fire engines from the fast lane, and two complied, but one firefighter refused that request and continued giving aid to the crash victims.

Exclusive video from CBS News 8 shows the CHP officer cuffing the firefighter, identified as Jacob Gregoire, 36, at the scene of the accident. In the background, other fire crews and officers can be seen tending to the victims of the rollover accident.

The firefighter, who’s been with the fire department for 12 1/2 years, was detained in the back of a CHP vehicle for about half an hour before being released.

CHP has not released the officer name or if he has or has not been reprimanded for the incident.

The driver of a white Honda Civic involved in the crash was transported to the hospital. No word on the condition of the second driver.

Representatives from the CHP and Chula Vista Fire Department met Wednesday to discuss the details of this incident. Wednesday afternoon, the two agencies released the following joint statement:

“Last night there was an unfortunate incident at the scene of a traffic collision on I-805, where both our agencies had responded. Both the CHP and the Chula Vista Fire Department share a common goal of protecting the public and providing the highest level of safety to responding emergency personnel, involved parties and other drivers at collision scenes.

Both of our agencies have the utmost respect for each other and our respective missions. This was an isolated incident and not representative of the manner in which our agencies normally work together toward our common goal.

This morning representatives from both agencies met to discuss the incident to improve communication and ensure the highest level of service is provided to the public. This incident will be a topic of future joint training sessions, in an ongoing effort to work more efficiently together.”

According to Hanneman, crews at an emergency scene usually use a method of working together called an incident command system.

CBS News 8’s Phil Constantine, who worked with the CHP for 20 years, watched the video and shared his thoughts.

“That is legal — you can tell someone to move the vehicle. Whether it’s justified, I can’t comment on,” Constantine said.

He says this has been an ongoing issue for years, in part because there are no rules, just guidelines about working together at a scene.

“Basically you have to do what is reasonable and prudent,” Constantine said.

Hanneman stands by his crew, saying while the agencies are working together to find a resolution, nothing on his end will change.

“My engineers and all the crews did exactly what they’re trained to do,” he said.

CBS News 8 spoke to the President for Local IAFF 2180 John Hess on the phone and says Gregoire did the right thing.

“I’m very proud of Jacob. He did a good job,” said Hess. “He made all firefighters look good. He was there to protect the citizens and he was willing to take a stand to do that.”

This isn’t the first time a firefighter has been detained. In 2010 a Montecito Battalion Chief in Santa Barbara County was handcuffed when he refused CHP orders to move a fire truck blocking lanes of traffic while responding to a crash.

In 2003, a police officer arrested a firefighter in Missouri for a similar reason and he sued. A jury in federal civil court awarded the firefighter with more than $17,000.

In Chula Vista, Hess says this issue between the Chula Vista Fire Department and CHP has come up before and officers have made threats but not arrests or handcuffing a firefighter until Tuesday night.

“I truly believe in my heart that this is going to get solved and that the commissioner is going to get involved and this is going to get fixed,” said Hess.

Local IAFF released this e-mail statement:

“On the evening of February 4, 2014 an officer of the California Highway Patrol arrested an on duty Chula Vista Fire Engineer in full turnouts and helmet while the Engineer was rendering medical aid to the victims of a roll-over accident on the south bound 805Freeway. The Fire Engineer had positioned a Fire Engine consistent with his training in a manner that was intended to protect the safety of the victims of the accident the accident as well as the emergency personnel on scene.

The unidentified officer arrived while fire crews were rendering aid. Witnesses state that just prior to the arrest, a different officer ordered a different Fire Engine carrying an on duty paramedic to leave the scene before the medical aid was finished. That Engine departed with the paramedic.

When the Fire Engineer refused to move his Fire Engine before it was safe to do so, the officer told the Engineer “you are under arrest.” He then arrested the engineer in front of local news cameras, which captured the arrest on film. The Engineer was lead to a CHP vehicle where the pockets of his uniform were searched and he was placed in the rear of the vehicle. He was kept handcuffed and locked inside the vehicle for a period of over ½ an hour and ultimately released with no apparent explanation.”

“We are stunned.” Said Fire Engineer John Hess, President of the Chula Vista Firefighters Union. “When we arrive at an accident scene, we have consistently demonstrated a common interest in the safety and welfare of the accident victims and the emergency personnel on scene. Our Engineer parked his vehicle consistent with our standards and training. We cannot imagine what possible explanation could be given to justify this conduct by the CHP officer. This removed a valuable fire apparatus and crew out of service for approximately one hour. This occurred at the same time another Fire Engine was moved to San Diego to support their fatality structure Fire. We had two districts without service for over an hour. We trust that a full investigation into the matter will be conducted. We also appreciate Assemblywoman Lorena Gonzalez efforts to arrange a meeting between our firefighters and the Commissioner of the California Highway Patrol. This forward thinking will prevent this situation from ever happening again to another firefighter in the state of California.”

The attorney for the firefighters expressed similar disbelief. “When our office received the e mail link to the news footage of the arrest and viewed the story, every jaw literally dropped.” Said attorney Stuart Adams. “When law enforcement and fire get to a scene, they are all about the common business of protecting the victims and the crews present. I have never seen anything like it. But I know that the whole story is not yet out so we shall see what a full investigation reveals before taking any position on the matter.”

Chula Vista Fire Chief Dave Hanneman said in a statement “To detain one of our firefighters in the middle of an incident is ridiculous.” Chula Vista Fire Administration met Wednesday morning with representatives of the California Association of Highway Patrol to discuss the incident. The California Highway Patrol assured Fire Administration officials that an investigation would be undertaken. No charges have been filed against the Fire Engineer resulting from the arrest.”

Chinese businessman sues escort agency after paying for celebrity encounters

By Neil Connor

5:20 PM Tuesday Jul 5, 2016

Megan Fox was one of the celebrities Yu Xu claims to have paid the escort agency for. Photo / File

A Chinese businessman is suing an Australian escort agency to which he paid millions of dollars believing he was going to get to spend the night with Hollywood stars including Megan Fox, it has been claimed.

The man paid A$3.7 million ($3.8 million) for supposed encounters with Fox, star of the Transformers movie franchise, along with Victoria’s Secret model Candice Swanepoel and Chinese model and actress Yang Ying, according to court documents cited by Australia’s the Sunday Telegraph.

Named as Yu Xu by the newspaper, the businessman believed he had arranged for the women to meet him in China.

He has now launched a legal action against the parent company of the Sydney-based agency Royal Court Escorts, the report stated.

Yu Xu believed he was going to spend the night with Victoria’s Secret model Candice Swanepoel. Photo / Getty

Yu claimed to have been told that he would be provided with “female escorts of international standing for the provision of sexual services”.

There is no suggestion that Fox, Swanepoel or Yang Ying, known by her nickname “Angelababy”, are escorts.

“It was agreed that if [Xu] paid the sum of A$3.7 million [the agency] would provide Megan Fox, Candice Swanepoel and Angelababy as escorts for sexual services,” Xu’s statement of claim said.

Xu was said to have paid the agency in August 2014, but the alleged agreement collapsed when Angelababy failed to meet him a month later.

“He wants to recoup the cost and is suing the agency’s parent company for breach of conduct, misleading and deceptive conduct, and unjust enrichment,” the report stated.

“It is understood the company will defend the claim but it is yet to file a defence statement with the court.”

The number posted on the website of the agency was not working when contacted.

– Daily Telegraph UK

Lufkin PD: Woman attacked husband because he wouldn’t let her have more beer

By Gary Bass, Digital Content Producer

Bell Montgomery (Source: Angelina County Jail)


Lufkin Police officers arrested a 54-year-old woman Sunday in connection to allegations that she scratched her husband’s eye after he wouldn’t let her drink any more beer.

Bell Zora Montgomery, of Lufkin, was booked into the Angelina County Jail on a misdemeanor assault-family violence charge Sunday. She was released after she posted a bail amount of $500.

According to the Lufkin Police Department’s daily activity report, the incident happened at a home in the 1900 block of Wood Avenue at about 6:35 p.m. Sunday. The report said Montgomery was arrested for assaulting her husband after he told her she couldn’t have any more beer because she had been drinking all day.

Montgomery allegedly threw her plate of food on the ground and put her hands on her husband’s face, scratching his eye in the process. The man told the responding Lufkin PD officers that he pushed her to get her away from his face.

Although Montgomery admitted to getting angry about the beer, she denied the assault, the report stated.

“She admitted that in addition to drinking, she had also recently smoked crack cocaine,” the report stated.

Copyright 2016 KTRE. All rights reserved.

Armed Robbery Suspect: It Wasn’t Me, I Was Smoking Crack

By Kayla Lusby |

Published 07/05 2016 05:50PM

Updated 07/05 2016 05:50PM


WEST MONROE, La.–A West Monroe woman was arrested for armed robbery at La Antorcha supermarket on Cypress Street, but the suspect told police this was a case of mistaken identity.

According to the affidavit, 45-year old Sandra Froust told police she loaned her clothes and her vehicle to an unknown female that resembles her.

Froust also claims in the affidavit, she was smoking crack for the past ten days while this robbery occurred.

Investigators say Froust’s vehicle, a GMC Envoy, was spotted before the robbery near a service station where witnesses claim Froust was begging for money.

Owners of the Latin American supermarket say up to $300 was stolen from the register.

 Police: Long Island Baby Sitter Arrested After Driving Intoxicated With 4 Kids In Car

July 1, 2016 5:07 PM

Filed Under: Mount Sinai

MOUNT SINAI, N.Y. (CBSNewYork) — A Long Island woman has been arrested after police said she was driving drunk with four young children she was supposed to be baby sitting in her car.

Sabrina Macri, 19, faces several charges including driving while intoxicated, child endangerment, possession of a controlled substance and other counts.

Around 2 p.m. Thursday, police said a good Samaritan called 911 when she saw Macri was intoxicated while trying find her car in the parking lot of Cedar Beach in Mount Sinai.

Once she found her car, police said she tried to drive away with four boys who were in her care, ages 4 to 11, inside. Nicole Diaz used her own car to block Macri from leaving until officers arrived, police said.

“She was stumbling and looked very confused,” Diaz said.

Diaz and her mother were arriving at the beach when they saw the teen start to drive away and took action.

“She said she was fine, and I knew that she wasn’t so I decided to call the police,” Diaz said.

And that’s not all.

“When she started to drive out, I blocked the exit with my car. There would have been some kind of accident,” Diaz said.

As she was being arrested, prosecutors said Macri allegedly told the officer, “So what if I had a few drinks? That’s what people my age do, you [expletive] loser,” WCBS 880’s Sophia Hall reported.

Macri’s attorney, Anthony Scheller, said she is very sorry about what happened.

“She’s very remorseful about this whole situation,” he said. “She’s shown great remorse when I spoke to her and she agreed to stay away from the children at this point — the judge issued an order of protection.”

The attorney also said the defendant’s mother is seeking a drug and alcohol program for her daughter, Hall reported.

“We are thankful that, obviously, there was no accident. There was nobody injured,” he said. “Obviously, we have a lot of investigating to do. We have to wait for the blood report to come back.”

At Cedar Beach folks were applauding the act of a good Samaritan.

“It was brave of her. Most people don’t want to get involved if they don’t know the whole situation so she took a chance,” Jeanne Colwell said.

Diaz, the woman who blocked in the accused drunk babysitter, is a mother of two small children.

VIDEO: Man Stopped by Police and Issued a Warning for Wearing Red Shoes

Matt Agorist July 3, 2016 27 Comments

Baltimore, MD — A ridiculous video was uploaded to Youtube this week showing a Baltimore cop stop a man for his choice of clothing.

In the brief video, a man is attempting to pay for his items at a convenience store when he is stopped and harassed by a Baltimore cop. Because the man had on red shoes and a red hat, the cop assumed he was a “gang member.”

The cop’s hunch allowed him to detain the man, take his identification, run a search for warrants, and issue a citizen contact sheet.

“Citizen Contact Sheets” are notices that police officers “issue . . . to private citizens as an acknowledgment that the citizen has had a particular encounter with an officer.”

“You are receiving a citizen contact sheet based on some of the gang activity that is going on around here,” says the officer in the beginning of the video.

At this point, the man knows he has no warrants and has not committed a crime, so he proceeds to make the officer look ridiculous.

“You are wearing all blue,” says the man. “That doesn’t me you are a crip.”

“You have on glasses, are you in the ‘glasses gang’?” asks the man, highlighting the downright silly nature of the stop.

For his choice of attire, this man was stopped by the police, detained, and his name entered into a database. For the rest of his life, this man’s name will be in a database for suspected gang activity; and all he did was choose to wear red.

Even if this man was in a gang, as the Free Thought Project pointed out last year, Baltimore gangs actually stopped looting during the Freddie Grey riots.

Members of the Crips, Bloods and BGF, Baltimore’s three largest gangs, even stood with city council members during a press conference last year.

The council members spoke very highly of the gang members and their recent efforts.“These men have been out on the street quelling the senseless violence that has consumed our city. After meeting with them today it is clear that the notion they were planning on harming our police officers is false and simply deterred the resources we needed to focus on the individuals who instigated these riots. I applaud these young men for standing here and speaking out for our city.” City Council President Bernard C. Young said.

The gang members were even out in the streets directing traffic. So much for stereotypes.

Watch people eat food live online with Twitch’s social eating channel

Online trend 1st gained popularity in South Korea in the 2010s

By Jonathan Ore, CBC News Posted: Jul 05, 2016 5:23 PM ET Last Updated: Jul 05, 2016 5:23 PM ET

The host of the serious gaming channel takes a break from gaming to eat a hot dog – in front of more than 400 online spectators – as part of Twitch’s new social eating category. (seriousgaming/

(Note: CBC does not endorse and is not responsible for the content of external links.)

Common etiquette suggests it’s rude to watch strangers eat their meal while out at a restaurant. But a growing online trend offers a reprieve for gastronomical voyeurs.

Twitch, the live streaming platform typically associated with video games, launched a “social eating” channel this month, where people can watch and interact with people as they eat.

It’s part of Twitch’s growing creative channel, which includes live demonstrations of painting, drawing and costuming.

The social eating trend first gained notoriety in South Korea, where it’s become known as muk-bang, or literally “eating broadcast.”

Some social eating channels focus on chatting with viewers, while others eat during their video game sessions. (

The most popular muk-bang streamers crack into piles food totalling thousands of calories, chatting with and answering questions from fans. Many of them, including a woman known as The Diva, can be found on Korea’s YouTube-like platform Afreeca, but archives can be found on YouTube, some with millions of views.

North Americans are no stranger to food porn on YouTube, of course. Websites like Buzzfeed and other solo streamers attract thousands of views when posting clips of people devouring trendy fast food like Taco Bell’s Doritos Tacos and Burger King’s Mac and Cheetos.

‘Like going out to a restaurant with your friends’

So far, Twitch streams on the social eating channel are considerably more relaxed. Streamers casually eat meals such as hot dogs or nachos while playing video games or listening to music.

In most cases, they aren’t mimicking the gargantuan meals of muk-bang veterans, nor are they sampling the weirdest new fast food trends. For Twitch, the “social” half of the label is as important as the “eating” half.

“Its main purpose is to enjoy food in a social setting, much like going out to a restaurant with your friends, providing interactive entertainment around mealtimes for anyone watching,” according to Twitch’s social eating FAQ page.

Food-eating live streams gained popularity in South Korea, where streamers like The Diva consume voluminous amounts of food while chatting with fans. (The TV Diva/YouTube)

“The appeal may be in companionship, albeit remote companionship over the internet,” the BBC said in a 2015 report on muk-bang. “It feels like a dinner party where the diners are talking from different rooms.”

Primarily a gaming-centric streaming site, Twitch launched its creative channels in 2015 with a weeks-long broadcast of every episode of Bob Ross’s The Joy of Painting. It attracted hundreds of thousands of viewers. It also recently ran a 24-hour marathon of Julia Child’s The French Chef.

While these older shows generated much of the initial attention for Twitch creative, the space appears focused on individual creators streaming their own artistic pursuits.

Twitch streamers already have a food sub-channel on creative, but the social eating category was added for those who want to eat food online instead of — or in addition to — preparing the food themselves.

Live streaming video platform Twitch broadcast every episode of the TV show The Joy of Painting to launch Twitch creative, a place where people can live stream their own creative process. (

Binge drinking, eating pet food banned

Streamers won’t be able to eat or drink anything without regulations, however. Twitch released multiple rules outlining unacceptable behaviour, including:

  • Primarily drinking alcoholic beverages, such as taking shots, drinking games, binge drinking or drinking parties.
  • Eating items or food not meant for human consumption, such as pet food, toxic substances, bodily fluids, refuse or inedible objects.
  • Food challenges or contests, such as chugging, snorting or binge/speed eating.
  • Food challenges or contests involving the exchange of money, goods or services, such as eating or shots, for dares or for money.
  • Feeding others, such as pets or babies.

Nivea Campaign That John Hegarty Called the Stupidest Thing He’s Ever Seen A robotic seagull that shits sunscreen on you at the beach 

By Tim Nudd

  • July 5, 2016, 10:29 AM EDT

Ready for a sunscreen-shitting seagull?

Sir John Hegarty, co-founder of Bartle Bogle Hegarty and all-around advertising legend, was jury president of the Titanium and Integrated Lions at Cannes this year. And his jury recognized plenty of brilliant work, including the Titanium Grand Prix winner, REI’s #OptOutside campaign.

But at the press conference announcing the winners, Hegarty didn’t open his remarks by talking about the top-notch work. He opened by mentioning a Nivea campaign that was so shockingly wretched, it’s a wonder it was entered at Cannes at all. In fact, it’s a wonder it’s not a parody.

His voice dripping with sarcasm, Sir John told the assembled journalists: “One [campaign] we debated long and hard was the flying seagull from Nivea. Without question, this was one of the pieces that caught our attention. … The big, big problem is kids on beaches don’t have enough sunscreen on. They run around and it rubs off. So they developed a [robotic] seagull that flies across the beach and basically shits suntan cream from Nivea. This is, as you can understand, something we had to take very seriously.”

He was joking, but not really. The seagull is real. Check out the case study here:

“This is, without question, at the cutting edge of technology and brand integration,” Hegarty continued. “I think actually they’re also teaming up with the Royal National Institute for the Blind, because if you get this stuff in your eyes from the flying seagull, you’ll probably need special attention.”

At this point, Hegarty was done with the sarcasm. “You should see it,” he said. “It’s the most stupid thing I think I’ve seen in my whole life. I actually thought the Monty Python team had gotten together and entered it into [Cannes], to see if we would vote for it.”

The case study does read as parody, down to the agency guys hiding in the dunes watching their weird creation crap happiness on everyone. But apparently it isn’t a parody. And it surely wouldn’t have been entered at Cannes just as a joke.

The funny thing is, the shitting seagull isn’t that out of character for Nivea. This is a brand that has pioneered lots of seaside campaigns, from the print ad with the removable braceletthat lets you track your kid on the beach, to the Gravity Award-winning magazine ad thatcharges your phone, to the sunscreen-applying beach water slide.

The “Care From the Air” campaign just took things to an idiotic level.

The agency behind it, Jung von Matt/Elbe in Germany, seems to acknowledge as much. Reached by Adweek, a rep there admitted the agency had done the campaign but said “the PR department of the client doesn’t want PR for it, so we do not promote it.”

You don’t say.

Woman smoking cigarette sprays another woman with gasoline

This undated photo provided by the Wyoming County Correctional Facility in Tunkhannock, Pa., shows Kimberly Brinton of Meshoppen, Pa. Brinton was jailed on aggravated assault and other charges after police say she sprayed gasoline on another woman who criticized her for smoking a cigarette while pumping fuel on Thursday, June 30, 2016, at the Dandy Mini Mart convenience store in Mehoopany, Pa., about 30 miles northwest of Scranton, Pa. (Wyoming County Correctional Facility via AP) (AP)

By The Associated Press 
on July 06, 2016 at 12:28 PM, updated July 06, 2016 at 1:41 PM

Police say a woman sprayed gasoline on a driver who criticized her for smoking a cigarette while pumping fuel at a Pennsylvania convenience store.

Fifty-one-year-old Kimberly Brinton, of Meshoppen, faces a preliminary hearing July 12 on aggravated assault and other charges stemming from the encounter Thursday at the Mehoopany Dandy Mart, about 30 miles northwest of Scranton.

Police say the driver told Brinton to extinguish her cigarette, then threw windshield cleaner onto Brinton in hopes of putting out the cigarette.

Police say when the other woman tried to drive away, Brinton screamed she was going to light her on fire and sprayed gasoline on her.

Police say the other woman slipped on the gasoline getting out of her car and broke her arm.

Online court records don’t list an attorney.

Police: Man Killed After Crashing Into Chicken Wing Festival


RENO, Nev. — Jul 3, 2016, 10:02 PM ET

Reno police said they shot to death a man who tried to run over an officer as he attempted to drive into a crowded chicken wing festival, KNRV TV reported.

The incident began about 1:30 p.m. Sunday when police tried to make a traffic stop of a silver mini-van near downtown, the Washoe County Sheriff’s Office said.

The driver of the mini-van failed to stop and headed toward downtown, the sheriff’s office said in a statement.

The mini-van tried to get past a barricade in front of the annual Biggest Little City Wing Fest and then swerved toward a police officer who was on foot, the sheriff’s office said.

The officer shot the man after it crashed into a vendor, Sheriff’s office spokesman Bob Harmon told the TV station (

The suspect, who they have not identified, was taken to a nearby hospital, where he died, the sheriff’s office said.

No officers or bystanders were injured.

Witnesses reported hearing multiple gunshots and seeing officers try to cut the van off.

The Reno Gazette Journal newspaper reports that witness Steven Parks, a vendor for Jax Kettle Korn, said he saw several police officers on foot attempted to cut off the vehicle so they could shoot into the passenger side of the van. Parks said he then heard multiple gunshots.

“You see these things in the movies, and know to get down,” Parks told the Gazette Journal ( .)

Wing Fest, an annual chicken wings cook-off, is a three-day event that features 25 wing cookers, a free concert and draws 80,000 people.

Following standard procedure in fatal police shootings, the incident will be investigated by the Washoe County Sheriff’s Office, Sparks Police Department, Reno Police Department and Washoe County District Attorney’s Office.

Philadelphia archbishop: Divorced Catholics must avoid sex

July 6, 2016

FILE – In this June 25, 2015, file photo, Philadelphia’s Archbishop Charles Joseph Chaput attends a news conference at the Vatican. The leader of the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Philadelphia said divorced and remarried parishioners should abstain from sex and live “like brother and sister” if they want to receive Holy Communion and haven’t had their previous marriage annulled. Chaput issued a new set of pastoral guidelines for clergy and other leaders in the archdiocese that went into effect July 1, 2016. (AP Photo/Riccardo De Luca, File)

PHILADELPHIA (AP) — The head of the Roman Catholic Church in Philadelphia is closing the door opened by Pope Francis to letting civilly remarried Catholics receive Communion, saying the faithful in his archdiocese can only do so if they abstain from sex and live “as brother and sister.”

Archbishop Charles Chaput, who is known for strongly emphasizing strict adherence to Catholic doctrine, issued a new set of pastoral guidelines for clergy and other leaders in the archdiocese that went into effect July 1. The guidelines reflect a stance taken by St. John Paul II.

“Undertaking to live as brother and sister is necessary for the divorced and civilly remarried to receive reconciliation in the Sacrament of Penance, which could then open the way to the Eucharist,” the guidelines read.

Church teaching says that unless divorced and remarried Catholics received an annulment — a church decree that their first marriage was invalid — they are committing adultery and cannot receive the sacrament of Communion.

Chaput says the new instructions stem from Francis’ sweeping document on family life released in April. That document — called “The Joy of Love” — opened a door to divorced and civilly remarried Catholics.

Francis didn’t create a church wide admission to Communion for divorced and civilly remarried Catholics as some progressives had wanted. But in the April document, he suggested bishops and priests could do so on a case-by-case basis in what could become a significant development in church practice.

John Paul II, in his 1982 document on the family, proposed the brother-sister option for divorced and remarried couples as the only way they could receive Communion.

In Francis’ revision of that document, which conservatives like Chaput have criticized for sowing confusion, Francis made clear that John Paul’s proposal was simply unrealistic and unhealthy for families.

In a footnote to “The Joy of Love,” Francis wrote that many people, while acknowledging the brother-sister option, “point out that if certain expressions of intimacy are lacking, it often happens that faithfulness is endangered and the good of the children suffers.”

The Philadelphia guidelines say Catholics in same-sex partnerships, civilly remarried parishioners and unmarried couples living together should not be permitted to serve on parish councils, instruct the faithful, serve as lectors or dispense Communion.

Such “irregular” relationships “offer a serious counter-witness to Catholic belief, which can only produce moral confusion in the community,” the guidelines state, acknowledging it is a “hard teaching.”

The new guidelines also address Catholics “who experience same-sex attraction.” Chaput says such parishioners can still live out a heterosexual marriage with children, despite that attraction. Others in same-sex relationships should avoid sexual intimacy.

The guidelines, posted on the archdiocese website, urge leaders in the archdiocese to offer compassion, love, guidance and respect to all parishioners.

Bishops wield enormous authority in their dioceses in laying down such guidelines and interpreting church doctrine. Since Francis only offered bishops the option of case-by-case allowances in his April document, Chaput with these guidelines is clearly opting out for the church’s nearly 1.5 million members in the Philadelphia Archdiocese.

After the papal document was released, several U.S. bishops said that, according to their interpretations, Francis’ statement did not require any change in the practice of barring communion for Catholics who divorce and remarry without an annulment.

The Rev. Thomas Reese, senior analyst for the National Catholic Reporter, said Wednesday that he thinks Francis is empowering bishops to make their own judgment calls on how church teaching should be applied in their diocese.

“Somebody in the diocese next door could release a letter that says something totally different,” Reese said.

Robert Bankle, a retired editor of a construction publication who volunteers as a greeter at Philadelphia’s Cathedral Basilica of Saints Peter and Paul, said Wednesday he sees the guidelines as a clarification Chaput was obliged to make.

“If something’s not clear, let’s make it clear, even if it’s unpopular,” said the 75-year-old from Bucks County, just outside the city. “If you want to be a member of the Catholic Church, these are the guidelines, these are the rules, these are the laws.” If people disagree, he said, “don’t be a Catholic.”

Mia Trotz, an 18-year-old college student from Philadelphia who was selling water ice outside the cathedral, said she didn’t think the guidelines made sense.

“The whole part about being a good Catholic or Christian is helping people or being more accepting of people, but most of the time they’re going against what they’re telling you to do,” she said of church leaders.

“I’m Catholic but I don’t agree with everything they do or believe, so it’s kind of hard to be Catholic sometimes.”


Associated Press writers Megan Trimble and Dake Kang in Philadelphia and Nicole Winfield in Rome contributed to this report.


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