The Donnie Report, June 09 2016

Donnie Sommers is the investigative monkey here at the TK Radio Network. You can find him on Facebook as ‘Donnie Sommers’. Donnie reports on some of the most stupid news stories that can be found in the internet today.

Disclaimer: We’ve been over this many times- you should know by now that Donnie is a Monkey. That’s all we need to say! Now, On to the Stupidity!

Man chops off friend’s penis after losing penis-measuring competition

The incident happened after a drunken argument took place between the two childhood friends.

By: Express Web Desk | New Delhi | Published:June 5, 2016 2:11 pm

Sometimes, boasting can go against you. Terribly. (Representational image, source: Thinkstock Images)

06092016 001

A two-day binge drinking session among two friends in Urals in Bashkortostan, Russia, Of course Russia. Because Russia culminated into a fierce argument about the size of their ‘manhoods’. They then proceeded on a penis-measuring competition, and it didn’t end well for the winner.

The man who lost the competition was so enraged that he hacked off his friend’s penis with an axe after hitting him on the head with it first. According to Daily Mail, police spokesperson said, “When words were exhausted, the attacker pulled out an axe and first struck the opponent on the head, then cut off his manhood.

The unidentified men have been friends since childhood and are natives of the village Nikolsk. Speaking of the extent of the injury, the doctors said it is not possible to reattach the severed penis. The attacker has been charged with inflicting a ‘grave injury’ on his friend and could face up to eight years in jail if convicted.

Prison inmate can sue over removal of marbles from penis, appeals court rules

By Reuters Media on Jun 7, 2016 at 10:19 a.m.

By a 3-0 vote, the 4th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals said Adrian King could pursue claims that officials at Huttonsville Correctional Center illegally threatened him into consenting to the June 2013 surgery, or risk being segregated from other inmates and lose his eligibility for parole.

Circuit Judge Roger Gregory found “overwhelming evidence” that the intrusion was unreasonable, despite the asserted need by prison officials to police the security threat posed by inmates carrying contraband within their bodies.

“The interest in bodily integrity involves the most personal and deep-rooted expectations of privacy, and here, the nature of the surgery itself, surgery into King’s penis, counsels against reasonableness,” Gregory wrote for the Richmond, Virginia-based appeals court.

King had had the marbles implanted in and tattoos drawn on his penis in late 2008, prior to his incarceration, during a “body modification” craze.

He said the surgery left his penis with tingling and numbness, and pain when it is touched or when it rains, snows or gets cold.

King said the surgery also resulted in mental and emotional anguish, saying that prison officials call him “Marble Man” and ask when searching him where his marbles are, and that gay inmates approach him because of how staff gossip about him.

Tuesday’s decision restores claims that King’s Fourth Amendment right against illegal searches and seizures, Eighth Amendment protection against cruel and unusual punishment, and 14th Amendment guarantee of equal protection, were violated.

It reversed much of a February 2015 ruling by Chief Judge Gina Groh of the federal court in Martinsburg, West Virginia, and returned the case to her for further proceedings. King is seeking compensatory and punitive damages.

Lawyers for the prison officials did not immediately respond to requests for comment. A lawyer for King did not immediately respond to similar requests.

The appeals court upheld the dismissal of claims against some defendants, including Commissioner Jim Rubenstein of the West Virginia Division of Corrections.

Ellen DeGeneres facing lawsuit over breast joke

Alex Hider

A woman from Georgia is suing Ellen DeGeneres after she says she was ridiculed on the comedienne’s talk show.

Titi Pierce, an electronics engineer and real estate agent in Warner Robins, Georgia, is suing the talk show host for defamation, false light invasion of privacy, misappropriation of likeness and intentional infliction of emotional distress.

Pierce’s real estate business was featured on a February 22 episode of Ellen during the “What’s Wrong With These Signs” segment. Though Pierce pronounces her first name “Tee Tee,” Ellen read her sign “titty pierce” and made a joke about breasts.

The lawsuit claims that Pierce has never been referred to as “Titty” “in her 35 years of life.”

Pierce also says that the show failed to blur out her personal cell phone number on the sign, and that she received “hundreds” of phone calls from viewers during the funeral of a family member.

She notified the show about the censoring error and the correct pronunciation of her name, but the lawsuit claims that the episode of Ellen re-aired on April 15 with no changes. The lawsuit does say the show blurred out her cell phone number in a video segment posted to Facebook.

“As a direct and proximate result of the Defendant’s conduct, Ms. Pierce has suffered stress, emotional distress, embarrassment, humiliation, anger and other mental pain and suffering,” the lawsuit reads.

DeGeneres has hosted her talk show since 2003 after starring in two sitcoms.

Axl Rose Demands Google Take Down Unflattering Pictures


Axl Rose is demanding Google take down several unflattering images of him that have been used as part of an internet meme mocking his physical appearance.

Harvard University’s Lumen Database lists at least 11 requests made on behalf of the Guns n’ Roses frontman citing copyright violations since May 31. The requests center on the “Fat Axl Rose” meme. One of the images Rose wants taken down includes the message, “Remember the 80s? He ate them.”


Dean Lopata @DLoIndustries

Come on, it’s not even funny. Stop with the#FatAxl tweets.#NeverStop

Google says it sends all such requests to the Lumen Database for publication. The database shows Rose used a British company, Web Sheriff, to make the requests.

Chris McCullough @GrigLager

Dear Axl,

The easiest way to have more fat Axl memes is to tell people they can’t post them. #FatAxl

Neither Rose nor Web Sheriff immediately responded to a request for comment.

Frog run over by lawn mower airlifted to hospital, hopping its way to recovery

Published June 08, 2016

Facebook811 Twitter273 livefyre406 Email Print

An unlucky Australian frog that was run over by a lawnmower is hopping its way around the continent to recovery.

View image on Twitter

Queensland frog run over by lawnmower hops on plane for recovery via /r/UpliftingNews 

Min Tims said she accidentally ran over the green tree frog in front of her home in Mount Isa in Queensland.

“She was devastated and asked if I could say prayers for him,” her niece, Felicia Morgan, told the Brisbane Times. She added that the frog “got clipped behind his head.”

Morgan got in touch with a frog hospital nearly 500 miles away in Cairns and an airline reportedly offered to carry the injured amphibian on one of its flights there.

“It was unbelievable coordination to be able to get the frog to us but he did eventually make it to Cairns and we picked him up from the airport,” Deborah Pergolotti, president of Frog Safe, told local media.

Staff at the hospital helped the frog recover from internal parasites but observed it had damage to one of its eyes.

The frog eventually returned to Mount Isa. Tims put the animal in a fish tank and started giving it a special diet.

“He is an extremely lucky animal to have survived being run over by basically a blender on wheels and we paid a huge amount of attention to him but he has recovered very well,” Pergolotti told the Times.

Alabama woman faked pregnancy, used murdered chihuahua to fake miscarriage


WARNING: This story contains graphic details

LAWRENCE COUNTY, Ala. — A 43-year-old Alabama woman who allegedly killed her Chihuahua as part of a plot to fake a miscarriage has been arrested, according to authorities.

Anita Parker is accused of killing the dog, then cutting open the pet’s stomach to take its blood and tissue to stage the miscarriage, WHNT reported Friday, citing Lawrence County Sheriff Gene Mitchell.

Parker then called 911 for medical assistance and was taken to a hospital. The woman’s husband told WAFF that his wife said she had flushed the stillborn baby down the toilet.

He was convinced she was seven months along in her pregnancy.

“I guess she pushed her belly out all the time, because it looked like to me she was,” he told WAFF.

It was later determined Parker had not suffered a miscarriage and hadn’t been pregnant, according to WHNT.

The mutilated Chihuahua was discovered by her husband in the trash can.

She “gutted the dog and used the blood all over my bed, like she had a miscarriage,” he said through tears. “I loved that dog.”

Parker allegedly pretended to be pregnant with his child in order to convince him to move back in with her; she faked the miscarriage in order to cover up the lie, investigators told WHNT.

The suspect allegedly confessed before she was booked into the Lawrence County Jail, according to the station.  Her bail was set at $7,000.

Confusion over Burger & Lobster menu

6 June 2016

By Mof Gimmers

If you had to guess what Burger and Lobster served up without looking at a menu, most of you would guess ‘burgers… and lobster?’, right?

However, this isn’t straightforward for some customers, who have complained about a lack of menu at the eateries.

Some will find that funny, as the clue is in the restaurant’s name. Others will point out that there’s a lot of ways you can serve lobsters, and even more varieties of burger, so a menu wouldn’t go amiss.

For those that haven’t been, basically, for £20 you could order a burger or a lobster, with some sides. They have no menu, and when you sit down, you’re asked if you’d like a burger or lobster, and if you go for our pinchy pal from the sea, you can basically have one cracked open, or on a sandwich.

The whole thing has become a headache for the restaurant chain, and they’re now rethinking what they’ll be serving up, as this menu-less concept is just not being grasped by people.

In a move that was initially meant to save time and confusion, it seems the reverse has happened.

Burger and Lobster have received scores of confused emails, tweets, and everything else, and now, they’ve given up on the way they used to do things, and will now be showing you a menu.

Maisie Denning, head of marketing, said: “Since day one, we’ve been inundated with emails, tweets etc asking what we serve. After receiving our 1,001th email we just gave in and thought, why not?”

If you checked their website, and looked for the Burger & Lobster menu, you would find this.

Youths robbed cabby of $5 but left iPhone in victim’s vehicle; two sentenced to probation


JUN 3, 2014, 12:18 PM SGT

SINGAPORE – Three youths had their scheme to rob a cabby all planned out – one would grab his neck from behind, the second would assault him, and the third would grab the money.

But when they did the deed in the early hours of Feb 2, they fled with a very small loot, and made a big mistake.

The coin pouch they managed to snatch contained only $5, and one of them left their iPhone in the vehicle.

On Tuesday, Muhammad Fauzi Fitri Kamaruzaman, 18, and Muhammad Aizan Abdullah, 17, were sentenced to probation in a community court after pleading guilty to robbing Mr Abdul Latiff Ismail, 53.

They were each ordered to perform 150 hours of community service, and their parents have to sign a $5,000 bond to guarantee their good behaviour. Meanwhile, a pre-trial conference has been fixed for their accomplice, Muhammad Istiqlal Hamdan, 18.

A community court heard that the three had boarded Mr Abdul Latiff’s vehicle having planned to rob a the taxi driver. When the vehicle reached its destination, Fauzi, who was seated directly behind the driver, grabbed his neck. Aizan punched his face four times, while Istiqlal grabbed the coin pouch from their victim.

While fleeing the scene, Fauzi realised he had left his iPhone in the taxi. Agreeing to Istiqlal’s suggestion that he report his phone had been lost, Fauzi went to the police station to say he had been assaulted and had lost his phone, wallet and watch.

The three were arrested later the same day. Investigations also revealed Istiqlal had thrown away the coin pouch, which was not recovered, while running away from the victim.

The penalty for robbery between 7pm and 7am can be a jail term of between three and 14 years, and up to 12 strokes of the cane.

Manny Machado gets free crabs for life for punching Yordano Ventura

By Scott Allen June 8 at 9:49 AM
Manny Machado lands a punch against Royals pitcher Yordano Ventura on Tuesday. (Photo by Patrick McDermott/Getty Images)

Orioles outfielder Adam Jones offered to pay any fine that teammate Manny Machado receives for charging the mound and punching Royals pitcher Yordano Ventura after getting drilled by a 99-mph fastball on Tuesday. A local restaurant guaranteed that Machado will never go hungry in Baltimore again.

Jimmy’s Famous Seafood promised Machado free crab cakes, steamed crabs and meal prep for the rest of his life after he was ejected in the fifth inning of the Orioles’ 9-1 win.

Jimmy’s Seafood @JimmysSeafood

Free crab cakes, steamed crabs, and meal prep FOR LIFE for Manny Machado. Real man – definitely not SAWFT!!!

“Real man – definitely not SAWFT!!!” Jimmy’s proclaimed on Twitter, a nod to WWE wrestler Enzo Amore’s entrance music and unique spelling of the word “soft.”

Royals catcher Salvador Perez deserves some free seafood, too, for his half-hearted attempt to stop a limping Machado from reaching the mound. Ventura, who was ejected for the third time in his career, has a history of losing his cool.

Machado had no regrets after his fourth career ejection.

“I don’t regret anything, he said. “It’s part of the game. Reactions fly and when somebody’s throwing 99 at you, it’s something that’s going to hurt. It’s going to hurt. You could ruin somebody’s career, so you don’t think in that situation, you just react to it, and it happened. Whatever happened, happened and we just have to move forward and thank God the team came out there and kept battling, kept swinging the bats like they did, and that’s all that matters that we came out with a W.”

It’s not the first time Jimmy’s Seafood has promised an Orioles player free crab cakes for life. Chris Davis, who homered after Machado was ejected, received the same sweet deal in December as an incentive to re-sign with the Orioles.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s