Donnie Sommers is an investigative monkey here at the TK Radio Network. You can find him on Facebook as ‘Donnie Sommers’. Donnie reports on some of the most stupid news stories that can be found in the internet today.
Disclaimer: We collect these ‘Stupid News Stories’ stories from the internet and local news sources and we vet them to the best of our ability, but keep in mind that one or two of them might not actually have occurred.
Before we start, I need to remind you that if you ever feel bad about your life, just remember…
The Headlines are almost always the best part… and Donnie’s first one does Not disappoint…
Woman Arrested For Masturbating In McDonald’s Ball Pit With Happy Meal Toy
Minnesota – Sharon Krueger, 36, was arrested yesterday after she was caught masturbating at a McDonald’s Play Place using her son’s Transformer Happy Meal toy. Her lewd conduct left patrons and children at the restaurant in dismay, causing mass panic.
Sharon Krueger was witnessed by several customers and their children, sexually please herself inside the ball pit at the McDonald’s Play Place. The incident occurred around 6 p.m. yesterday according to reports. Krueger had taken her 6-year-old son, Daniel Krueger, to the restaurant to get him dinner. Afterwards, she left her son at the table to eat as she went to the restroom. According to eyewitnesses her 6-year-old son was crying because he was unable to locate his “Transformers” Happy Meal toy. Another parent at the restaurant approached the young boy and asked him if he knew where his mother was. The child told her that his mom had went to the restroom.
“One of our customers came up to the register and informed us that a young boy was crying because he didn’t have his Happy Meal toy and that his mother was in the restroom,” said Karen Boyd, an employee of the McDonald’s location. “I grabbed two Happy Meal toys and took them over to the young kid and apologized for his Happy Meal not having the “Transformers” toy. The young boy thanked me and then asked if I could get his mom because he was ready to leave. I went to the ladies restroom and called for Ms. Krueger but no one answered. I checked the stalls and no one was inside the restroom. I went back to the register and called Ms. Krueger over the loudspeaker and let her know that her son was ready to leave. After about 10 minutes of waiting, I went into the Play Place area to see if she was there possibly looking for her son. When I went inside, I saw the most disgusting conduct from a parent ever in my life. The woman had almost the entire body of Optimus Prime inside of her,” Boyd added.
According to reports, Krueger was found, laying in the ball pit pouring a vanilla milkshake on herself and using the missing “Transformers” toy to please herself. There were other children inside the ball pit at the time. When the McDonald’s employee witnessed Krueger’s inappropriate actions, he told all of the children to leave the ball pit. One of the children saw Krueger and fainted as they he was exiting the ball pit. Boyd immediately notified her shift supervisor and both attempted to get Krueger out of the ball pit.
“My manager grabbed the woman to pull her out of the ball pit but no before getting hit in the mouth the very Happy meal toy she had used to please herself. My manager’s mouth started bleeding and he had a white “gooey” substance on his mouth from the toy. The toy was soaked and the area where we found the woman was very wet. The woman finally got out of the ball pit but she left a horrible fish smell inside,” said Boyd.
Both the manager and employee along with other customers of the McDonald’s called police. When authorities arrived, Krueger was arrested for indecent exposure and her son was placed in the custody of Child Protective Services. The manager was treated for the injuries sustained from being struck with the Happy Meal toy. The Play Place area will be temporarily closed for proper sanitization.
Indonesia police confiscate sex toy mistaken for ‘angel’
Image copyrightAFP/Indonesian PoliceImage captionPictures spread on social media of the apparent “angel”
Indonesian police have confiscated a sex toy from a remote village after its inhabitants and some on social media mistook it for an “angel”.
The doll was found in March floating in the sea by a fisherman in the Banggai islands in Sulawesi province.
His family took care of the doll, and pictures soon spread online along with claims it was an angel.
Police investigated amid fears the rumours would cause unrest, and found it was in fact an inflatable sex doll.
Image copyrightAFP / Indonesian policeImage captionThe doll was taken home by the fisherman
Indonesian news portal Detik said photos of the doll dressed demurely and wearing a hijab spread on social media shortly after its discovery.
Rumours then began to spread that it was a “bidadari” along with unverified stories about how it was found “stranded and crying”, prompting the police investigation.
Many across Indonesia continue to hold strong beliefs in the supernatural, including the existence of “bidadari”, which is a type of angel or spirit.
Local police chief Heru Pramukarno told reporters that villagers had found the doll shortly after the rare March solar eclipse that swept across South East Asia.
The timing of the discovery led some to believe the doll had a divine provenance.
“They have no internet, they don’t know what a sex toy is,” the police chief was quoted as saying by AFP news agency.
In 2012, a TV station in China’s Xian city apologised after running a false report that a local farmer had discovered a giant piece of precious lingzhi mushroom.
The fleshy object, found in a well by the farmer, was identified by many viewers as a sex toy made of silicone.
SCHOOL CALLS POLICE ON GIRL USING 2 DOLLAR BILL TO BUY HER CHICKEN NUGGETS! IT GETS WORSE!
Scott Osborn — May 2, 2016
When 13-year-old eighth grader, Danesiah Neal, tried to spend a 2 Dollar Bill at lunch at Christa McAuliffe Middle School, she was detained and threatened with a felony!
It gets worse! The 2 Dollar Bill investigation had to go all the way to the bank to get solved!
I am beyond disbelief at the STUPIDITY at this Texas school, and with the Fort Bend police who carried on with the blatant ignorance that had to be involved! (Besides the fact that it was only $2)
ABC13 Houston Reports:
“I went to the lunch line and they said my 2 Dollar Bill was fake,” Danesiah told Ted Oberg Investigates. “They gave it to the police. Then they sent me to the police office. A police officer said I could be in big trouble.”
Not just big trouble. Third-degree felony trouble.
School officials called Daneisha’s grandmother, Sharon Kay Joseph.
“She’s never in trouble, so I was nervous going in there,” she recalled to ABC13.
The officials asked, “‘Did you give Danesiah a 2 Dollar Bill for lunch?’ He told me it was fake,” she said.
Then the Fort Bend ISD police investigated the 2 Dollar Bill with the vigor of an episode of Dragnet, even though at that school 82-percent of kids are poor enough to get free or reduced price lunch.
The alleged theft of $2 worth of chicken tenders led a campus officer — average salary $45,000 a year — to the convenience store that gave grandma the 2 Dollar Bill.
Next stop — and these are just the facts — the cop went to a bank to examine the 2 Dollar Bill.
The mystery was solved!!! At least the bank knew what a 2 Dollar Bill was!
The bill went from the lunch lady, to the school officials, (Obviously the principals Mary Brewster and James Wade Kirkpatrick HAD to know the cops were involved), to the cop…who took the $2 Bill to the convenience store..and then to the bank.
The long line of IGNORANT people that this CRAZINESS had to go through before the bank explained that there is such thing as a 2 Dollar Bill is unfathomable! They should all be fired for sheer stupidity!
From all the idiots that had to be involved at Fort Bend ISD’s Christa McAuliffe Middle School, to the Keystone Cops involved, you would think SOMEONE would have recognized the real currency!
Instead, they threaten a poor little girl with a felony and made her miss lunch!
Explain to me how NO ONE said the words, “There is such a thing as a 2 Dollar Bill”?
Explain to me how NO ONE has YET said the words, “I am sorry”.
THIS is just one of eight counterfeiting charges investigated in Fort Bend ISD since 2013 mind you.
You know the routine!
There has yet to be an apology from the school!
I would demand some resignations just for the sheer stupidity of those involved, but that is the way I am! These are our EDUCATORS and Law Enforcement!!!
These people put a black mark on some of our finest! Call/Email the school and share your outrage!
McAuliffe Middle School Phone: (281) 634-3360
Principal Mary Brewster
8th Grade Principal James Kirkpatrick
NC woman pulls out gun after chicken wing mixup
By WECT Staff Published: April 28, 2016, 6:11 pm
Police were called to the scene and found the woman on the sidewalk outside the restaurant still holding the gun.
WILMINGTON, N.C. (WECT) – Wilmington police said a woman upset that her order of wings was messed up, pulled out a gun inside the restaurant Thursday evening.
According to officials, the incident happened at the FU Wangz located in the 2100 block of Carolina Beach Road.
WPD spokeswoman Linda Rawley said a woman walked into the restaurant and ordered some chicken wings. Later, the clerk handed her an order of boneless wings.
The woman began to argue with the clerk saying she wanted “bone in wings.”
The argument escalated and the woman went to her car, grabbed a gun, and went back inside the restaurant waving it around, police said.
Police were called to the scene and found the woman on the sidewalk outside the restaurant still holding the gun.
She’s currently being detained and charges are expected.
Police are still investigating the incident.
NC woman arrested for pulling gun after wrong chicken wing order speaks out
By Jeff ReevesPublished: April 29, 2016, 6:23 pm
Clarissa Gagum outside her Wilmington apartment. (Source: WECT)
WILMINGTON, N.C. (WECT) – The woman accused of pulling out a gun after getting a wrong order of wings is speaking out.
Clarissa Gagum, 24, and her husband, Rasheem Gagum, 24, were both arrested outside FU Wangz on Carolina Beach Road.
The owner of FU Wangz says Clarissa Gagum wanted boneless wings but instead got bone-in wings.
Clarissa Gagum told WECT she wasn’t upset about the chicken, but rather bad customer service.
“Any other time, like I order my food they get the order wrong,” Clarissa Gagum said. “They replace it for me. Yesterday they did not do that. They didn’t want to give us the money back. They didn’t even want to replace the food. I guess he had a bad day and took it out on us or whatever.”
However, police say Clarissa Gagum took it out on the restaurant workers. The owner of FU Wangz says she threw the carton of wings onto the floor, then left and came back with a gun. He says Gagum waved the gun around violently, hitting the glass tip jar and cutting her hand.
When police got to FU Wangz, they say Clarissa Gagum was outside still holding the gun. She’s charged with assault by pointing a gun and injury to personal property. Her husband, Rasheem, was charged with resisting arrest.
The owner of FU Wangz says Clarissa Gagum orders wings there all the time. He says the business has only been open about five months and never thought something like this would happen over an order of wings.
Dad arrested for DUI, kids in the backseat
Posted: May 02, 2016 8:38 PM PDTUpdated: May 03, 2016 3:26 AM PDT
By Graham Hunter, Reporter
An Estero father is accused of being so drunk, he should be brain dead.
Lee County Sheriff’s deputies arrested Stephen Allbritton Friday morning. They say he was passed out behind the wheel of his SUV with his kids in the backseat.
Deputies say he was unresponsive and after they took him to the hospital, doctors found out just how intoxicated he was.
Allbritton’s blood alcohol content was measured at .604 — more than seven times the legal limit.
Jackie Mason of Estero couldn’t believe it when she heard it.
“Horrifying, you’ve got the kids’ lives, you’ve got his life, you could destroy them,” said Mason. “The kids are probably terrified, traumatized because they don’t know, ‘Did dad suddenly drop dead?'”
Two decades ago, Mason’s husband Larry made the mistake of drinking and driving and got a DUI, but he’s been sober ever since.
“Coming up this July, I’ll have 20 years in a program that helped me,” said Mason.
He knows what it takes for someone to turn their life around.
“Get help, quit,” said Mason. “Make sure that you make a life change.”
Allbritton’s B.A.C. was so high he was too drunk to take to jail. Deputies waited seven hours until the level dropped to around 0.4, and he was arrested for DUI and child neglect.
“I just hope that that family can hopefully mend from this and that those kids don’t have this in their mind forever,” said Mason.
Neither Allbritton nor his young kids were hurt. The kids are with their mother.
Brockton teen shot by licensed shooter charged with armed robbery
By Cody Shepard, The Enterprise
Published 11:53 AM EDT Apr 30, 20162
When a teenager allegedly used a BB gun in an attempted robbery Friday afternoon, he likely didn’t expect to meet a man armed with a real handgun.
But police say that’s what unfolded on Washburn Street about 2:58 p.m., when a 15-year-old Brockton man and 31-year-old Pepperell man were supposed to meet for a sale of a dirt bike.
“The victim in the case was lured here from the North Shore and he was attempting to purchase a dirt bike,” Brockton police Lt. Kenneth LeGrice told The Enterprise Saturday morning.
The two began texting each other about a dirt bike, which the supposed seller was offering for $700, LeGrice said.
“The party he was texting with apparently tried to rob him of his cash with what was believed to be a gun, but turned out to be a BB gun,” LeGrice said.
A struggle then ensued over the BB gun.
“They were fighting over the BB gun and, at that point, the victim in the case pulled out a real gun and fired three times,” LeGrice said.
The man reached into his white pickup truck, pulled out a 9-millimeter handgun and fired at the teenager three times, striking him once, LeGrice said.
The teenager then ran down Washburn Street toward Larch Street and collapsed in front of 757 Ash St., as a result of the injury, LeGrice said.
The 15-year-old Brockton man, who police did not identify because he’s a juvenile, will be charged with armed robbery while masked.
“At this point, the investigation is continuing, but no charges have been filed against the victim,” LeGrice said.
The shooter, whose identity The Enterprise is withholding as he’s believed to be the victim in the case, said he wasn’t ready to talk about the incident when reached by phone Saturday morning.
Police say the Pepperell man is licensed to carry a firearm.
The teenager’s condition wasn’t available Saturday morning, but LeGrice said he is expected to survive.
The incident unfolded in front of 16 Washburn St., where police later found three shell casings in the road.
Susie Ciulla-Hall, who lives near where the shooting occurred, told The Enterprise Friday afternoon that she was relieved her family was safe.
Had she hit any traffic on her way home, she and her five children may have been caught in the line of fire. Ciulla-Hall and her children had just arrived home and went inside when the gunfire erupted – and her SUV’s windshield was struck once.
“I heard the gunshots. I saw a kid go running up the street with a mask on his face,” she said. “We just walked in the house. Thank God we just got in. My kids are always outside playing and it’s a Friday.”
The shooting occurred not far from both Brockton High School and the Kennedy School.
Driver crashes new £215,000 McLaren just 10 minutes after taking delivery
The McLaren 650S hit a tree 10 minutes after the driver took control for the first time CREDIT: DIANE EVANS/SWNS.COM
3 MAY 2016 • 6:49PM
It was tree 1, supercar 0, as one of the most exclusive British supercars just became a little less common after the new owner of a McLaren 650S managed to crash it 10 minutes after taking delivery of it.
The accident happened in Essex last week. Neighbours reported seeing the man celebrating with a bottle of champagne as the new car arrived at his house. But within minutes the sleek lines of the £215,000 supercar had been reduced to a mangled lump of carbon-fibre and metal after the driver lost control and ploughed into a tree.
The 650S features a twin-turbocharged V8 engine and can hit 60mph in less than 3sec. Acceleration is so fierce that it will reach 100mph in the time most family cars take to reach 30mph (5.7sec) and can continue all the way up to a top speed of 204mph.
The 650S has a top speed of 204mph CREDIT: DIANE EVANS/SWNS.COM
No-one was injured in the crash last Wednesday, but police have appealed for information from anyone who may have witnessed the McLaren being driven before the crash. They say enquiries are on-going to determine who was driving the car at the time.
It is the second time a new customer has crashed the 650S. Last year, a car salesman saved the life of a stockbroker after a high speed crash in Cheshire.
The accident happened after the customer veered off the road and drove into bushes before hitting a tree. The salesman who had accompanied the driver managed to drag him from the wreck.
Naked Villager arrested in street wearing only black boots
The Villages, FLA
Kelly Marie Carpenter
A Villager has been jailed on $10,000 bond following her arrest after she was found naked in the street wearing nothing but a pair of black boots.
A couple had been driving their car down Estrada Place in the Village of Rio Ponderosa at 6:30 p.m. Saturday when they encountered 51-year-old Kelly Marie Carpenter standing naked in the middle of the street, according to an arrest report from the Sumter County Sheriff’s Office. When their vehicle approached her, she started beating on it with her fists. The man driving the car rolled down the window because he feared she would break it. When the man, who is over the age of 90, rolled down the window, she struck him in the shoulder while she was screaming incoherently.
The couple, afraid of what harm she might inflict, drove around the corner and called law enforcement.
When a deputy arrived, Carpenter was still standing in the street, surrounded by household items. When the deputy approached her, Carpenter threw a plastic spray bottle at the deputy and used vulgar language, the report indicated.
“I’m naked, arrest me,” she said, according to the report.
She then hit the deputy in the waist with a windshield squegee.
When the deputy handcuffed Carpenter and put her in the back of a patrol car, she kicked the door, resulting in damage to the locking mechanism of the door.
She is facing charges of battery on a law enforcement officer, battery on a person over the age of 65, simple assault on a person over the age of 65 and indecent exposure.
The arrest report indicated Carpenter resides on Estrada Place.
Cops: Motorcyclist clocked at 133 mph
Updated 4:22 pm, Monday, May 2, 2016
BROOKFIELD — A motorcyclist was arrested Saturday afternoon after state troopers clocked him driving at 133 mph, authorities said.
Andrzej Szostak, 35, of Ridgewood, N.Y., was seen traveling northbound on Route 7 at an “extreme high speed,” according to the report. The speed limit in that area is 55 mph.
Police said they stopped him about 1 p.m. at the Exit 12 off-ramp in Brookfield and took him into custody without incident.
Szostak was charged with reckless driving and passing vehicles on the right. He was released after posting $1,000 bond.
Conservative Group ‘Testing’ Target By Sending Men To Women’s Bathrooms
AP Photo / Nathan Denette
ByCAITLIN MACNEALPublishedMAY 3, 2016, 8:33 AM EDT11625 Views
The American Family Association has been “testing” Target’s new policy allowing employees and customers to use the bathroom that aligns with their gender identity by sending men to women’s bathrooms, according to the conservative group’s director of governmental affairs, Sandy Rios.
“I think there’s no question that when you say that there are no barriers in the bathroom, and that if men or women feel like they are men or women, the opposite of however they are equipped, and you have no restrictions, the net effect will be, people will not be stopped,” Rios told “Breitbart News Daily” on Monday. “We’ve already had people testing this, going into Targets and men trying to go into bathrooms. There is absolutely no barrier.”
“And so the chief concern, even more than just, I think, trauma, certainly for little girls of having men dressed like women coming in their bathrooms, the chief concern of the American Family Association is the predators who will take advantage,” she added.
Last month, the American Family Association called for a boycott of Target over the store’s “harmful” bathroom policy.
H/t Right Wing Watch